


I won't lose you again

by albions_need_is_greatest



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Arthur, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, How Do I Tag, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Merlin is a Little Shit, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Uther Pendragon Dies (Merlin), Uther is an Asshole, at this stage no archive warnings but i will change that if it changes, canon can go fuck itself, enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albions_need_is_greatest/pseuds/albions_need_is_greatest
Summary: As the clock resets, and Arthur finds himself thrown back into his past - before he met Merlin, he must do everything in his power to find Merlin, and never leave his side. But with Uther on the throne, and Camelot facing more enemies than ever before, will Arthur find a way to rewrite his destiny? Or will he, and the kingdom, be plunged into a darkness of the likes they had never seen?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all!
> 
> This is yet another fic that I've been writing (cause let's just face it by now it is safe to assume that I don't really have a life lmaooooo), but yee
> 
> This is also posted on my Instagram, @/the.once.and.future.clotpole but is not posted anywhere else, so please don't repost. Feel free to leave comments or kudos with what you think :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy the fic :)

Arthur woke with a start.   
  
Sunlight streaming through the windows as the curtains were pulled open to reveal the new day.   
  
"Good morning, sire. Your breakfast is on the table, and your clothes over the changing screen, as you requested. The King has called for a council meeting within the hour, and after that you have training in the courtyard, My Lord."  
  
Arthur stared at the man in front of him, as his still tired brain slowly woke. Revealing a neatly dressed manservant, with brown hair, and brown eyes and not a neckerchief in sight.   
  
"You're... not Merlin."  
  
"My Lord?"  
  
"Merlin. Where is he?"  
  
"You're not making any sense, My Lord. I have never heard of any one by the name Merlin."  
  
"Merlin. My manservant."  
  
"Am I not your manservant, My Lord?"  
  
Arthur's mind caught up with him. Memories of old times far before where time should be. With a sinking feeling, the man in front of him became more and more familiar. He was one of the many manservants who came before Merlin. Infact, he was the manservant who came directly before Merlin.  
  
"Yes, of course you're not Merlin, you're..."  
  
"Thomas, My Lord.   
  
"Of course," Arthur finally said, moving behind the screen to change, where he could finally take a moment to breathe. He pulled on his clothes, barely recognising what he was doing, only to walk out to a very shocked Thomas.   
  
"My Lord, did you not see the clothes I laid out for you? The council meeting, the king, he--"  
  
"The king?"  
  
"Yes, My Lord. Your father, his majesty, called for a--"  
  
Thomas barely had time to move out of the way before Arthur barged past him and into the hallway. Rushing towards the throne room.   
  
Within minutes, the doors were thrown open, and Arthur ran towards the king, crashing into him with a crushing hug.   
  
"I'm so glad to see you father. It's been too long."  
  
"You saw me yesterday, Arthur," said Uther as he pulled away from the embrace, looking Arthur up and down with a sign of disapproval. "Where is your manservant?"  
  
"Uh, yes, Merl-- Thomas. He's..."  
  
The doors opened again, and there stood Thomas. Flushed and slightly shaking, as though he knew what was coming. Uther turned to address him.   
  
"You are Arthur's manservant, correct?"  
  
"That is correct, my Lord."  
  
"And you decided that this was appropriate attire for my son?"  
  
Arthur looked down at what he was wearing for the first time that day. He had no shoes on, his tunic was tattered, and he was almost certain his trousers were on backwards. Looking over at Thomas, he felt awful for what he knew his father was about to do.   
  
Thomas looked down at his feet. Ashamed and unable to meet the king's eyes.   
  
"Answer me, boy!" Uther's voice rang throughout the otherwise silent room.   
  
"No, my Lord."  
  
"So are you suggesting my son would humiliate me like this of his own accord?"  
  
"Of course not, my Lord."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I'm sorry, your majesty. It won't happen again."  
  
"I know it won't. From now, you are dismissed from your duties as Prince Arthur's manservant."  
  
"Father, you can't--"  
  
"I can. And I did." Uther's voice was dangerously low. A sure warning that noone else could afford to get on his bad side if they wanted to keep their head.   
  
Arthur had heard it many times before. Directed to the druids, every sorceror at their execution, even himself at times. The room had remained silent since Arthur's interruption, and everyone had noticed. Uther was in a bad mood and it was clear that nothing productive would be achieved from this meeting. Yet the council waited, listening for their king's permission to leave.   
  
Uther sat at his seat, sighing. "The council is dismissed. All of you leave." He paused, waiting a beat. "Arthur."  
  
The room cleared, leaving Arthur and Uther alone. Arthur standing poised at the door.   
  
"I expect you to have a new manservant by the hour."  
  
"Yes, father."   
  
"And Arthur?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You will not embarrass me like that again. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
"Yes, father. I apologise for my actions."  
  
"Very well. You may go."  
  
As the doors shut behind Arthur, a face flashed through his mind. Sparkling blue eyes, ebony black hair, and a smile that could light up a room. He knew just the person to fill the spot of his manservant. He only needed to find him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapter updates in two days? Yeah let's be honest this is only because this is pre-written for the first few parts lmao

The path to Gaius' chambers was one he knew well, even though before Merlin, he had not walked it often. And so he was met with confused glances as he walked down the corridors.   
  
He knocked on the door, twice, before entering to a shocked Gaius, who dropped his head in respect as soon as he saw Arthur.   
  
"My Lord, how can I be of assistance?"  
  
"Is Merlin here yet?"  
  
"I beg your pardon Arthur?"  
  
"Merlin."  
  
"Yes, Arthur, I know who Merlin is. My question is how do you?"  
  
Arthur faltered. How could he possibly explain this?  
  
How could he explain the countless months he had spent together with Merlin, only to wind up before they even met? How could he explain that he had not only seen the future, but lived it, breathed it, and even died in it?   
  
How could he explain how the clumsiest fool in all of Albion had somehow stumbled into his life, and then proceeded to change it in more ways than Arthur ever could have imagined?   
  
Arthur looked at Gaius, with his one eyebrows raised questioning Arthur's every word. "Well?"  
  
"It's... hard to explain," Arthur said after a while. "You just have to trust that I do, and that no harm will come to him."  
  
"And why would any harm come to him?"  
  
Arthur faltered for the second time that night. What if Gaius did not yet know about Merlin's magic? What if Gaius would stop Merlin from being his manservant? Or from coming to Camelot at all? He had really screwed the pooch this time. Not only did he get Thomas fired, Gaius was going to be on his case for an eternity.   
  
"Gaius, I know my manservant has magic."  
  
"Your what?" Came a deep voice from the doorway. "Arthur Pendragon how could you hide this from me! And on the anniversary of the end of the great purge itself." The colour started to drain from Arthurs face.   
  
"No, father, it's not what yo-"  
  
"Enough. Guards, go find Thomas, Arthurs old manservant. He is to be executed forthwith, as is stated in the laws of our land."  
  
"Yes Sire." The two guards left, to hunt down Thomas. An innocent man who's life would now be taken because Arthur couldn't keep his mouth shut. The King gave one last shake of his head at Arthur, and stormed out of Gaius' chambers, leaving Arthur behind with a very confused court physician.   
  
"Now Arthur," Gaius said, sitting down as he offered the prince a seat. "I know magic, and I know Thomas did not possess it, so why did you say what you did? Whats going on with you, Arthur?"  
  
Since as early as he could remember, Arthur had always gone to Gaius for treatment. The first time he broke him arm on the training field, the cuts and the scrapes, the concussions aand the sleepless nights. The battles. The enchantments. Right until the end, Gaius had been there. But Arthur wasn't sure this time around if it would be wise to tell such a story.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
"Over my years I have heard many strange things, my lord. I'm sure whatever you have to say would not be something that could shock me."  
  
"Well then," Arthur took in a deep breath, "I've been here before, Gaius."  
  
"You come to my chambers often, My Lord."  
  
"No, well I mean yes, but that's not what I meant. This life, this time, I've been here before. Many years ago. I remember I met Merlin this very day. He called me an ass. I threw him in the cells. Then a few days later he saved my life, became my manservant."  
  
"Go on," Gaius stated.  
  
"He was the one person who wasn't afraid to stand up to me. The one person who was brave enough to stand by my side through anything. Countless battles, against rogue sorcerors, creatures of magic, other kingdoms, Morgana and her Saxons-"  
  
"The Lady Morgana?"  
  
"I---" Arthur stopped. Scrunching up his face as he looked into the corner of the room, then finally back to Gaius, lowering his voice before he continued. "Yes, against Morgana. She had magic, just like Merlin. But she chose to use her gift for evil, unlike Merlin who saved my life and my kingdom more than I could count. He doesn't get all the credit, I saved his life too."  
  
Gaius' face had taken on one of deep concern. Halfway between believing what Arthur was saying, and preparing to run off and report that Arthur had been enchanted to the king.   
  
"Please Gaius, you have to believe me. I wouldn't make this up, my father, he, he would have me exiled if he knew what I did as king."  
  
"He would?"  
  
"Well I did legalise magic after the battle of Camlaan, under a strict set of rules, and I had a court sorcerer help me with those laws, and that person and I, we, well---"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"The last bit doesn't matter. The point is he wouldn't have liked it. At all. I wouldn't make this up Gaius, please, you have to believe me."  
  
Gaius was silent, then after a second he spoke. "I will keep your secret, Arthur. However it would be unwise to reveal it to anyone else. You have a unique opportunity, to help those and make so all of Camelot will benefit, but if your father suspects what we are doing--"  
  
"You'll help me?"  
  
"Yes, My Lord, I will. But for now, please just try act exactly as you did all those years ago. We have to hope you haven't damaged to much by your actions already, if you are to achieve your destiny again."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a tad bit longer to get up, bit here you go!!! Things are gonna get intense real soon!

Arthur couldn't bring himself to be by his father's side at Thomas's execution. Despite his father's warnings about what was expected of him as a Prince, and what image it would be sending to the people, Arthur found himself under a cloak, hidden among the masses of the crowd.

He knew Thomas was innocent. Knew that the boy didn't have a magical bone in his body. Yet he kneeled in front of all of the city, treated worse than a common criminal, an axe ready to be brought down upon him at any moment. 

"This man, Thomas James Collins, has been found guilty of using sorcery and enchantment..." 

If Arthur hadn't felt sick to his stomach before, he did now. Since he had became King, Arthur had started to realise just how bad his father's treatment of sorcerors and druids had been. But as he stood frozen in shock, staring up at the tyrant from the crowd of Camelot's citizens, Arthur wondered just how many people had suffered like Thomas. Just how many were executed, nay, slaughtered, without a trial, nor a shred of evidence against them. 

Gaius' warning rang through his mind, screaming at him to just let things play out the way they had before, but he couldn't. He knew it was wrong. Arthur glanced up to the citadel, where Morgana stood at the window of her chambers. He saw his father's arm, raised and ready to drop. The executioner's axe, high above Thomas' neck. 

"Father, Enough!" He shouted, stepping forward from the crowd and revealing himself to his people. "This man, Thomas, is innocent. Not only do you have no evidence against him, Father, but he has been in loyal service to me for many years. This has to stop. He hasn't even had a trial!"

The crowd grew restless at Arthur's words. Drifting into uncomfortable silence as the two royals held each other in a locked gaze. Uther remained a threatening calm as he spoke, of both voice and features. 

"No son of mine would speak such things. This only goes to prove he has you under an enchantment. This man is guilty!"

"You're wrong! I won't let you do this!" Arthur began to run towards the executioner's stand, trying to jostle his way through a crowd that dared not part, in fear of the kings wrath. 

"You can't prevent justice, Arthur. You'll understand one day." The king brought down his arm, and the courtyard grew tense as the lifeless body of Thomas lay in front of us all. Arthur met Morgana's eyes, both of them filled with pain, and tears. "Guards, take Arthur to the cells. A few days there and he should be back to his old self."

"No! You can't do this!" Arthur reached for Excalibur, only to realise he did not even own the prized sword yet. His old sword forgotten on the floor of his chambers as he used his fists and body to fight off the guards as best he could. But when he heard his arm snap, he knew the fight was lost. As Uther's knights dragged the somehow still heavily resisting Arthur to the cells, no one noticed the raven haired, blue eyed stranger, watching the Prince's every move. 

***

"I have to say, that was quite the spectacle you pulled out there." Gaius said, as he tended to Arthur's broken arm. Setting the bone in place before he began to wrap it in a sling. 

"It didn't do any good though, did it Gaius. Thomas still died. An innocent man, still died. Not to mention I completely went against your advice of keeping things the same as last time. What if I never see him because of what I did? What if I've ruined our destiny, the destiny of the land, because of that decision? My father has already locked me in here, who's to say exile isn't next? Or even execution for treasonous words?"

"Now, Arthur, your father would never exile you, nor execute you. He still needs an heir for when his time comes, and you are his only son. His only heir."

"Thats not quite true either though."

"Arthur?"

"Morgana's my sister."

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. I tell you this in full confidentiality, Gaius. But my father would know that he has another heir should the need for one arise."

"And you truly believe he would cut you off?"

"I don't know what to believe, Gaius. He isn't going to be easily forgiving after what I just did."

"Actually, he will be. I know of it for certain."

"How?"

"I told him you were enchanted, sire."

Arthur turned to Gaius, absolutely livid at what the physician had done. "Why the hell would you tell him that? Thomas was innocent!"

"If Uther believes you to be under an enchantment, he will forgive your actions. Since you've been here the last couple of days, your behaviours and attitudes have changed immensely. Uther cannot know who you truly are, if you are to fulfil your destiny once more. Through his death, Thomas has given you a second chance, Arthur. You must take it. For all our sakes."

"What if I screw up again?"

"Destiny is a funny thing, my boy. It will always find a way."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these updates take a lil bit of a wait but enjoy!! I really appreciate all of you who read these, kudos, comment, or just a read

The next few days, Arthur spent in relative darkness. His only visitor was Gaius, who brought him his meals, and tended to his injury. All the while teaching him how to convince everyone that he was the man he used to be. The day of the great feast was almost upon the citadel, and Arthur could hear the preparations in full swing, awaiting the arrival of Lady Helen. 

Or as he knew her to be, Mary Collins. 

But he could not keep his mind on the upcoming celebrations, no matter how hard he tried. Stuck in isolation, Arthur found himself to be wondering of all that had already gone wrong in his short time back. Not only had he been the cause of an innocent man's death, but he had also stood up against his father's rule in front of the entire city of Camelot. His father had sent him to the dungeons, he was injured, and most importantly, he had missed his meeting with Merlin. And to top it all off, Arthur was beginning to realise just how rude and arrogant - how much of a prat - he had been before he met Merlin. 

Gaius' lessons of how to behave truly showed some of his worst moments. Each time Arthur went over how he had to present himself: distant, cruel, daddy's little blunt instrument, against magic and all it stood for, above all those below a royal station; he felt a piece of himself cry out in anguish. His many years with Merlin had taught him so much. They had taught him how to care for others, how to be patient. How to tell the difference between blind loyalty and doing what is right. Merlin had taught him to trust. To forgive. To be brave in more ways than on a battlefield. Acting as his father wanted went against everything Arthur stood for as king. He only hoped Merlin could forgive him if he ever managed to get his destiny back on track.

When Uther sent guards to release Arthur, under strict orders to ensure he was appropriate to greet their guest, the now prince knew exactly how the day would go. He would get dressed, washed up, and ready to stand behind his father as they welcomed the Lady Helen to Camelot. The two of them would dine, he would parade her around during her stay, and then the day after there was to be a feast in her honour. He would go to the feast, sit through his father's speech, and allow himself to be pulled under into the deep sleep she intended. He had to do it for his destiny. He had to keep things the same. Merlin would save him. Merlin would be there. Wouldn't he?

***

Horns rang out through the hall, announcing the arrival of the king, as the ladies and lords of the court move to their seats. 

"We have enjoyed twenty years of peace and prosperity," Uther began, as Arthur rolled his eyes internally. "It has brought the kingdom and myself many pleasures, but few can compare to the honour of introducing Lady Helen, of Mora."

Uther sat down as soft music began to flow through the air, and the members of court soon found themselves drifting off to sleep. Arthur felt his eyes go heavy, felt the will to stay awake begin to fade from his mind as the darkness began to fill the edges of his vision. The prince tried to keep his mind off the singing, focusing on the sound of Merlin's voice, the times of true peace he had seen in Camelot under his rule, but as the court grew colder, and spider webs flooded the tables, his eyes finally fell shut. 

Just out of Arthur's line of sight, the raven-haired man from the courtyard stood, covering his ears as his eyes searched the room for anything he could use to stop the sorcerer who had enchanted everyone before him. Gaius had told him to keep his magic a secret, to not use it in Camelot, and definitely not in front of a room full of people who would execute him without a thought, but when he saw a dagger in the woman's hand, all logic flew from his mind. He had no idea why, but he knew he couldn't bear to see anything happen to the prince. A strange thought, but he pushed it aside.

Merlin's eyes shone gold as the chain holding the chandelier above Lady Helen snapped, bringing it down on top of her. Instantly, the members of the court began to awaken, Arthur included. Arthur allowed himself to stand, looking over the table at where the Lady Helen, now revealed to be Mary Collins, lay. His heart pounded in his chest as he sat back down, despite every instinct telling him to move. He forced himself to sit and watch, as the witch in front of him raises herself up just enough to throw the dagger at him. He allowed his mouth to drop into shock, and told him body to sit still, just as he had all those years ago. Surely Merlin would act now. or maybe it was too public. What if Merlin just stood and watched as he died? The dagger got closer and closer, until he felt the very air around him shift. The room around him slowed down, as he felt himself pulled out of harm's way. Landing on the floor next to Merlin just as the dagger dug itself into where he had just been seated. 

With one last breath, Mary falls to the floor, and Uther turns his head to look at his son, now helping the younger man up from the floor. 

"You saved my sons life. A debt must be repaid."

"Oh, well..."

"Don't be so modest, you shall be rewarded."

"No, honestly, you don't have to, your highness."

"No, absolutely. This merits something quite special."

"Well..."

"You shall be rewarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant."

Merlin paled at Uther's words, and Arthur fought to keep the smile off his face. He made eye contact with Gaius across the room, and saw the old physician with a proud smile on his face as the court erupted into applause. 

_This is it,_ Arthur thought. _This is my chance to fix my destiny. My chance to bring magic back to Camelot. To save Morgana. Save Mordred. Save hundreds of lives fought in a pointless war. My chance to show him, yet again, just how much he means to me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all were expecting them to have a conversation? oh trust me, it's coming. everything seems pretty good for Arthur rn. shame if someone were to,,,, put a stop to that.


End file.
